I have been neglecting this blog for some time now. Writing has been off the radar between holidays, some stomach viruses, excessive days off from school, summer vacation, and a newfound obsession with Pinterest.
I'd like to say that I've been busy, but I really hate it when people say that. It's like telling a woman with a newborn that you are tired. There should just be a large pillow that comes out from the sky and pounds you until the stuffing is flying when you say something so ridiculous. The truth is, EVERYONE is busy, and we are more likely to feel that there is something wrong with us if we are NOT busy. And let's face it, thanks to Facebook, we can all see how much of your time is spent on gaming. We, as a culture, just need to get over our busy selves. I truly believe that you make time for what's important to you, and the rest is just excuses.
But it has not been bad. If anything, I feel like I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. My friend says that, when you are dodging the shoes being thrown at you while trying to juggle them, it's bound to happen eventually. I think she may be on to something.
That particular shoe seems to be currently be in the hands of my eleven year old. As a Mother, my role is changing in ways I never anticipated, and was certainly not prepared for. This worries me somewhat, because parents of teenagers seem eerily similar the cast of survivors from a horror movie. In other words, wide eyed, and utterly exhausted.
I am perfectly aware that things are always going to be evolving with my kids, especially when they get older. They can't stay little forever. But I'm admitting I'm not quite prepared for the turns things are taking this year.
-I never knew eyes could roll quite that way. Apparently, muscles in the eyes are developed in such a way that they roll the eye in response to ANYTHING mother's say. Much like Pavlov's Dog, the response is immediate, upon my opening my mouth.
-We have had several long, tedious conversations about whether or not she really needs a cell phone. This is looking more and more to go in her favor because I can never use my cell phone without having to find the person currently playing on it. How the phone became to be used as a primary gaming system, I'm not really sure. When I leave the house, the children are not sorry to see me go any more, they are annoyed because I need to bring my phone with me. The fact that next year, she'll go to a different school and will have after school programs isn't even on the top of the list.
-There have been a few biology questions that have come up, and I've had to come to terms that I do NOT want my kids getting their information from some friend's stolen copy of a certain NY Times Bestseller on deviant behavior. My desire for my kids to not learn about the birds and the bees from a book about S&M is stronger than my willingness to avoid the conversation altogether. When my nine-year old son came home asking a few strange questions, I knew I'd better start manning up and taking charge, even though it seemed a little young to start. Apparently, someone's mom is not too careful where she keeps that book, but I guess, if we can't keep guns out of our kid's hands as a society, why should we lock up a book? It just seems surreal, since we all still believe in Santa Claus in this house. Unfortunately, since that book WAS on the Best Seller list, there is an entire generation who is going to have unlimited access to it. Chances are it's going to make for a really interesting dating pool for my daughters when the time comes.
-5th grade math is so much fun. I've definitely lost this battle, and have resorted to kissing up to the teacher in hopes that she will teach my daughter how to do all the things that I can no longer seem to remember how to do. Hence my feelings on Home Schooling.
So I'll admit, I'm pretty unprepared for the next phase of Motherhood. I am fortunate that she is not really interested in boys, and since she's got brothers, she's more likely to just have them as friends right now. In the meantime, I am searching for a welder who specializes in Chastity Belts. The Yellow pages seems to have neglected this category.